I had a sad realization this weekend. Tegan isn't quite 4 months old yet and the MIL is driving me crazy! Thankfully, I'm not alone the hubs is getting frustrated too otherwise I'm sure this would be causing problems for our relationship!
I've heard there are usually two common situations people have with in-laws after a baby- either it brings you closer together, or creates an even larger rift. I'm the latter. From the very start I never had a great relationship with the MIL, but I think it worked because we didn't see each other that often. She lived in NY, and I lived in MN. Problem solved. Then she moved out to MN right before the hubs and I got married. I still didn't see her that often, and it continued to work. Now that we've had Tegan (who is the first grandchild on the hubs side) we see her a lot more often, and this is where I'm reaching my wits end. To make the problem more complicated I'm not comfortable letting the MIL babysit because of a host of mental, and physical problems.
I know there's not a lot of people who read this blog, but the few out there that have past by, I NEED help. I'm reaching out for advice, even if the opinion is "Get over it". I don't know what else to do but at this rate somethings going to need to give. I can't make it another 18+ yrs like this.
Here's the situation- she calls the hubs on a regular basis (meaning weekly or several times a week) asking for a time to see Tegan, and emails me usually once a week asking for time to come by during the week. She pushes constantly for chances to babysit (that's actually what she asked for for Mothers Day which irritated me to no end). Whenever she hears someone else babysat, even if it's the hubs taking time off work, she blasts us for not having her babysit. When we do have her come by, she pressures me to let her do special trips with Tegan like going to the mall or taking her out in her stroller for a walk. And when we do tell her 'No' to something she has to know why, and will revisit the topic several times for answers.
What we've done so far- before Tegan was born we explained that we were not comfortable with her babysitting so not to expect that. We've told her several times to back off a little, and she does for a little while but starts pushing again before long. The hubs confronts her on a regular basis when she gets out of line, like explaining that we don't have to have a reason for saying 'no' but that she needs to respect our decision. The hubs has really done a great job running interference so far but it's still getting to be too much.
So what does the cyber-world say? Is there anyone else having similar problems? And how did you make it work?